This post was originally written for 12 Most and can be found here.

We all want to sell more. Whether it is our job, or it is in our lives, we are always selling.

Selling is a requisite to building meaningful business, customers, and friendships. Yet sometimes we get so into selling our products and services that we forget where it all began.

This past weekend while attending a conference I had the opportunity to listen to David Nour speak. David wrote a book entitled “Relationship Economics.” While much of the content has been covered in one way or another before, he said one thing that I thought was quite profound.

“Everywhere but in the USA, people build relationships prior to getting involved in a business relationship; only here do we enter into business first and if and only if the transaction goes well do we build a relationship.”

The statement while not only true, got me to thinking about the act of building relationships, and the reminder that people buy from people they like.

Perhaps it is basics like these that can help us turn things around for our selves, our businesses, and even our economies.

So we start by selling ourselves and let the rest happen on its own. Here in no particular order are the 12 Most Necessary Actions to Sell More “You”


1. Appearance:

Do you look the part? This isn’t a suggestion that you have to be good looking, but rather a suggestion that when you are out “shaking hands and kissing babies” that you appear put together and confident. And in case you are wondering, a smile goes a long way.

2. Empathetic:

Do you know what most peoples’ favorite subject is? If not, here is a hint, it isn’t you! Nope, it is themselves. People love to talk about themselves and when you take genuine interest, it is much more likely they will like you.

3. Knowledgable:

Are you well aware of what is going on in the world? People want to be around people who they think are intelligent and engaged with current events and other important issues. I’m not saying to delve into deep topics like politics and religion, I’m just saying it is good if you know what is going on with the “Big Picture” before you start to dive into the details.

4. Humor:

We aren’t all comedians. Many of us aren’t all that funny at all (This guy included). However, having a sense of humor is a good idea if you want to sell more you. Unless your goal is to be liked by primarily smug and miserable people, a bit of laughter either joining in or creating goes a long way in relationship building.

5. Interesting:

Are you interesting? Do you have stories to tell, ideas to share, or…? When you are engaging with folks, they tend to gravitate towards people that are interesting. Note: This is not an invitation to be boastful, overly provocative, or just plain over the top. It is merely a suggestion to think about “Adding” to the conversation.

6. Humble:

Under “Interesting” I mention do not be boastful. I will further that by saying avoid it at all costs. Nobody genuinely likes a cocky person. Arrogance generally shows an insecurity and frankly people aren’t that interested in your “awesomeness.” Try giving credit as often as possible and do it genuinely. Then sit back and watch how much you that helps you sell!

7. Honest:

If you don’t have this one, you won’t sell much You at all. Perhaps you can manipulate here and there and even get ahead momentarily, however, violating trust is incredibly risky and is the absolute fastest way to the bottom of the ladder in life and business. It starts here people. Be honest, make it count, then proceed to win trust.

8. Diligent:

What type of follow through do you have? Do you always get it done whatever it is? People really like others that they can count on. Simple enough, moving on…

9. Authentic:

I was reticent to put this one on the list. It is overused and I think in some spots it has lost meaning. However, there is a reason it is so widely discussed. People like to be around people that they perceive as “Real.” While this isn’t exactly the same thing as honesty, this is a highly volatile trait. If you are seen as anything other than the genuine article don’t be surprised if you struggle to connect and sell more you.

10. Integrity:

Are you careful to always live the words you speak? Do you have a reputation of owning your mistakes and working hard to learn from them? People of high integrity have a gravity of their own that pulls people toward them. It isn’t by accident that this happens, but it won’t happen easy because integrity is something you have to constantly work at.

11. Dynamic:

Other words I may suggest here are adaptable or perhaps “chameleon.” But people that can be genuine, honest, all while being able to quickly adjust to unique situations around unique people tend to do very well. This is something that has to be done with some finesse, but those that can stand out in many situations tend to sell a whole bunch of “You.”

12. Presence:

The best definition I’ve ever heard of this: It is hard to put into words what this “Presence” is, but you know it when you see it, and when you do, you just can’t help but be influenced by this person. Simple enough, do you have presence?
While it may not be possible to have all of these traits, the more you can illustrate in the presence of others the more “You” that you will sell.

Don’t believe me? Add these 12 to your repotoire and then let’s chat. I’m certain if you execute, YOU will feel all the love and success that you could ever hope for.

So what did I miss? Join the conversation below.